#034 - although i look big, yet i feel so tiny and small

i never really understood how people could stess about anything... why stress? just dont think about it.. just pretend there is nothing... if there is nothing then there is nothing to stress about. I've done that my whole life.. i was avoiding everything that would stress me out... it's only me, no space left for anything that would stress me out. so there was nothing i would stress about... i lived very happy, i smiled everyday... -for those who don't know..-

untill a year ago...

i got myself in problems.. cause i didnt wanted to take responsebility.. i just didnt do anything beside having fun and doing things i like.. i didnt wanted to talk about anything that would make me upset. i didnt wanted to let any others to know that i dont want to grow up,,, i want to live my life like a 16 years old.. i seriously didnt knew what i wanted to do with my life... i had an issue with myself

my sister tried to helped me with getting me where i should be... I haven't done a word what she told me to... i was so naïve and i still didnt wanted to take responsebility... i was frustrated and made many many people upset - sorry for that-

now you probably wonder why i suddenly tell you all this... that isbecause it reminds me about a tweet of someone... she said: "to become mature is to accept imperfection". And that is what i am trying to do..
people always say that i always only come up with happy stuff.. and hide my sad things. here i am telling the world how imperfect i am... and that i am working on it..

i always thought that i was good in hiding my feelings away... till some days ago.. some of my colleagues asked me if i was doing okay...

ahw well..

I'm doing fine =), except i have cut myself in my fingers >.<

ahw well i feel better after blogging.. hope to have something happy to blog about next time..

shan